Psalm 41 

The Psalmist in Sickness Complains of Enemies and False Friends.
For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

41 How blessed is he who considers the helpless;
The Lord will deliver him in a day of trouble.
2 The Lord will protect him and keep him alive,
And he shall be called blessed upon the earth;
And do not give him over to the desire of his enemies.
3 The Lord will sustain him upon his sickbed;
In his illness, You restore him to health.
4 As for me, I said, “O Lord, be gracious to me;
Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.”
5 My enemies speak evil against me,
“When will he die, and his name perish?”
6 And when he comes to see me, he speaks falsehood;
His heart gathers wickedness to itself;
When he goes outside, he tells it.
7 All who hate me whisper together against me;
Against me they devise my hurt, saying,
8 “A wicked thing is poured out upon him,
That when he lies down, he will not rise up again.”
9 Even my close friend in whom I trusted,
Who ate my bread,
Has lifted up his heel against me.
10 But You, O Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up,
That I may repay them.
11 By this I know that You are pleased with me,
Because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me.
12 As for me, You uphold me in my integrity,
And You set me in Your presence forever.
13 Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel,
From everlasting to everlasting.
Amen and Amen.

I am still feeling this today, even after nearly two weeks. I have apologized, yet nobody has acknowledged it nor have they accepted that apology. I can’t fix my frustration nor may depression from this. I seek out a clear conscience but nobody seems to be willing to accept my repentance except God. I am not seeking to destroy a church, nor have I called for anyone to be condemned to hell, yet I am accused of both. Honestly, I feel as if I should just take my own life, even though that is totally against everything in God’s Word. It would hurt my family and my loved ones in the church….so what am I to do?